I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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