You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
