so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
