we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
