i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
two words: eviction party
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
