People with herpes should wear stickers.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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