Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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