Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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