worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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