Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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