this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
