I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
