Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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