It's Friday. Sex?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
