Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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