He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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