Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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