i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
