so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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