Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
