ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
