So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
