he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
