She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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