I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
