I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
