i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
