I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
