This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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