So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I deserve this hangover.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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