did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
