So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
