So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
