I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
