i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
