Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
