Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
