Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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