Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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