I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
