it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
