new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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