Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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