You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
