Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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