I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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