i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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