Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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