Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
