i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
