Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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