Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
