The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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