we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
